


The Mathematics Lesson

by Amorette



Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Genre: M/M, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 02:59:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4649670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amorette/pseuds/Amorette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hercules and Iolaus learn about ratios and other smutty things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mathematics Lesson

Setting the Record  
by Amorette

"Iolaus, I can't. Not again."

"Yes, you can. Come on, Herc. Here, how's this?"

"Ow. I told you, it hurts. Cut it out."

"Fine. How about this?"

"Oh, Iolaus. Oh, oh,. . ."

"See, I told you. Maybe it's not as hard as usual but it's still hard."

"Fine. It's hard. You proved your point. But there is no way I can come again."

"Bet there is."

"No, Iolaus, I mean it. The last time it hurt more than it felt good."

"We're not doing this for the fun of it. We're doing it as a scientific experiment."

"You're doing it because you are pervert. Stop that. I mean it. Stop. . .all right. Do that. And that. Oh, yeah, and that. Oh, gods, yeah, do that! IOLAUS!"

"See! Ten times in one night. I knew you could do it."

"Ow. I'm not going to be able to pee for a week. Keep your hands to yourself. Scientific experiment, my ass. And leave my ass alone!"

"Hey, Hermaphroditus told us the average human male reaches his sexual peak at 19, right? Well, you're only 17. How are we going to tell if you peak at 19 if we don't know what your peak is now. I bet you can come a dozen times when you're 19."

"I don't think I'll be able to come again until I'm 19. I mean it, Iolaus. It hurts!"

"I'm sorry. Here, I'll kiss it and make it better."

"You will not! It's my turn. You're the one who is 19. I can't believe your sexual peak is only four times in one night. Roll over."

"Oh, yeah, Herc. Oh, yeah. Like that. Harder. Right there, oh, gods, right there! OH, YEAH! OW!"

"See, I told you. It hurts to come when you haven't got anything left to come with."

"It didn't hurt that much. Want to try for six and eleven?"

"Iolaus, if you lay one hand on any part of my anatomy I will break it off, do you hear me?"

"Okay, fine but we have to remember to do this on your birthday next year to see if you can go for eleven. No, twelve. We can aim for twenty when you turn 19."

"By which time you'll be 21 and probably can't go twice."

"Ha! I'll be able to come three times when I'm eighty."

"You know something, Iolaus. I have this horrible feeling you're right. Now go to sleep. I mean it. Put that down! Stop it, Iolaus, or I'll swear I'll. . ."

February 2002

The Mathematics Lesson  
by Amorette

"Oh, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, like that oh yeah ohyeahohyeahohyeah. . Iolaus!"

Iolaus rolled over, patting his friend's cock fondly. "I knew you had it in you."

"How many. . ." Hercules' voice trailed off and he had to stop and take a drink from the water jug Iolaus had had the forethought to provide. "was that?"

"Eighteen."

"And how many for you?'

Iolaus raised his head off his friend's belly and looked at the marks he had made with a bit of charcoal on a stick. "Um, six for me, eighteen for you."

"I don't care how many times you think I can come, I think we have reached my limit."

Iolaus looked over at Hercules' limp manhood, which did resemble a prune more than anything else at the moment. Then he looked down at his own cock, lifting it carefully with a gentle finger and giving it a shake. The movement made him wince.

"I have to admit, I agree with you there." Iolaus sat up, reaching for some apples he had also brought along to sustain them during their experiment. "And I have to admit I think I have reached mine. Six orgasms in what, four hours." He glanced at the position of the moon to see if his estimate of the time was correct. During their activities, he had rather lost track of exactly how much time had passed. "Definitely my limit."

Hercules sat up gingerly, eyeing himself suspiciously. He fleetingly wondered if it would ever get hard again but quickly gave that fear a pass. Between his father's bloodline and his best friend's determination, he imagined impotence was the least of his worries.

"I have to admit," said Iolaus around a mouthful of apple, "I am a little disappointed. I really thought you could do twenty. At least I'm still at six. I was worried that my total would go down, considering my advanced age."

Hercules aimed a weak swing at the back of Iolaus' head, intending to miss. Iolaus ducked, laughing, and they both collapsed back on the ground, arms comfortably around each other. Neither was capable of another erection but that didn't mean they couldn't snuggle. Hercules pulled the blanket up over them.

"So," he said, sleepily, addressing the top of Iolaus' head, which was resting on his shoulder, "is it all down hill from now on? You're two years past your sexual peak, I'm two days past mine. How many times do you think we can come when we're in our thirties?"

"Provided we're still interested in sex when we're that old."

Hercules laughed. "You'll be interested in sex if you live to be a hundred." He felt rather than heard Iolaus' answering giggle.

The older boy sighed but it was a contented sound, not an unhappy one. "Let's see, if I came six times and you came eighteen times and six into eighteen is three, then. . ."

"Then the ratio of my orgasms to your orgasms is three to one."

"Really?" Iolaus raised himself up on his elbow. "That's what a ratio is."

"Weren't you paying attention in class? Never mind, why do I even ask? Yeah, that's what a ratio is."

"Huh. Three to one. So. . .in ten years, maybe I'll come three times and you'll come nine times. Right? If the ratio thing stays the same?"

"I guess."

"Somehow it doesn't seem quite fair but I suppose I can live with it. For every time I come, you come three times. Nope, not fair."

"Too bad." Hercules made his voice gently mocking, knowing Iolaus wouldn't take it personally. "Life isn't fair. Besides, there's the whole quality versus quantity issue."

"Good point. And this means if I come seven times, then you have to come, what, twenty-one times."

Hercules groaned. "Iolaus, there is no way I can do that. And I don't think you could manage it either."

"You never know. I mean, we didn't build up to it properly. If we abstained from any sexual release for a week instead of two days, and ate lots of red meat and oysters. . ."

Hercules rolled Iolaus under him, silencing him with a long, deep, wet kiss, that ended with Iolaus arching up against him and moaning.

"I bet I could, Herc," whispered Iolaus, running his tongue along his friend's jaw.

"Fine. We'll try next year. Not tonight though. Please, Iolaus, I'm exhausted."

"All right." They resettled themselves, this time on their sides with Iolaus tucked against Hercules' bigger body. "But why wait a year. Let's spend the next week . . ."

"No. Not next week. It's going to take me longer to recover than that. Now go to sleep."

"You know, Herc, with women, it's a whole different thing. They can come and come over and over. That's not fair, either."

"Iolaus, please. . ."

"Fine." Iolaus shifted his weight a little and pulled one of his friend's arms across chest, holding it there. "Three to one. So that's how ratios work. You know, we should have tried this years ago. Then maybe math class wouldn't have been so boring."

Hercules laughed and gave Iolaus a squeeze. "Yeah, right. I can just imagine the discussion on fractions."

Iolaus laughed, snuggled back into Hercules' warmth, and fell asleep, a wiser man.

March 2002

**Author's Note:**

> Again, why am I posting this?


End file.
